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COULD IT ACTUALLY HAPPEN?

If you haven’t seen the footage of Iliman Ndiaye performing a unusual dribbling move at Everton’s training ground, it’s worth viewing. Through performing a move so nasty that it would have suited perfectly at a Harlem Globetrotters show game, the skill immediately shut down what was meant to be a casual practice to finish what had been – up to that point – an illuminating interview about how Sunday league footballers can get another opportunity after being released by professional academies.

Ndiaye, who featured in non-league games directly before being picked up by Sheffield United at 19, is expertly placed to speak on this topic. “Don’t focus on the rejection and one day your luck is going to arrive,” he advised a young player just before executing said ninja move on his victim, in doing so perfectly illustrating the gulf between Premier League and amateur footballers he had been working to minimize.

Ndiaye is far from the only professional footballer to go slightly overboard. A younger Michael Owen cheerfully overwhelming a 13-year-old goalkeeper in front of a annoyed Neville Southall is undoubtedly the prime example in this unique area – but the ex-Anfield star is just one of many culprits. Both Christian Eriksen and Shinji Kagawa have reduced toddlers to actual tears with a series of harsh skills, although it’s believed that the latter was at least motivated by the Japanese player’s social media apologetic post – “difficulty breeds resilience” – and the accompanying hashtag of #friendship.

Kagawa’s previous Borussia partners Lukasz Piszczek, Jakub Blaszczykowski and Nuri Sahin at least had the good grace to lose their match against 100 children when the group lined up during the mid-game pause of their last appearance for BVB. A Real Madrid XI that included Cristiano Ronaldo and Xabi Alonso showed less mercy when they took on 109 Chinese kids in a similar experiment. But returning to the beginning, it’s calculated that only 180 of the 1.5 million boys currently playing organized youth football in England will ever appear in the Premier League, a stark reality for young players across the country.

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FEATURED STATEMENT

“The game guided me but it never abandoned me because I never gave up on my goal. I went from location to location. The love of football drives you. I couldn’t always see where it was leading me. But today I have the understanding” – national team manager Veljko Paunovic pauses briefly from his training to reflect on his path.

FAN FEEDBACK

“Nice to hear that Kevin Mac Allister isn’t going to be left home alone by Argentina. Hopefully, if he participates in the Bigliest Most Peaceful Cup next year, he’ll research how to navigate the tournament sites – hopefully he won’t get confused in New York” – James Humphries.

“Information shows that 1,024 players in the Turkish league have been banned due to suspected participation in a gambling controversy. It would be fantastic if that number could be raised to the same level of characteristic precision associated with Football Daily – that is, 1,057 readers. By my math, that’s about 33 more detail-oriented individuals. If I offer to be suspended from playing professionally in Turkey (not much of a loss at my age and, um, skill level), are there 32 more folks willing to assist my effort for balance?” – Mike Wilner.

“As a frequent consumer and Florida resident, can I proactively complain about the upcoming week-plus of published letters about which route one uses to get to various locations in your country? I mean, I was caught in a traffic jam on I-4 at 2am on a Tuesday night driving through Orlando once, but that’s the whole story. There’s no rewarding moral to the tale. (I-4 joins Tampa on the Gulf Coast to Daytona on the Atlantic via Orlando/Walt Disney World, and can have traffic issues at any time)” – Rasteen Nowroozi.

“Regarding Wythenshawe FC, I recall many years ago playing for a Sunday, very recreational club, Turnpike Lane Hibs, on Clapham Common. One morning a bloke presented as ‘Danny’ turned up to play. I have no idea who brought him along. Supposedly he was an actor; he had a decent left foot. (Yes, Daniel Day-Lewis)” – Jason Steger.

“Together with some associates and companions, I play a game of football each Friday afternoon. Our most senior member is approaching eighty, while the youngest are in their twenties. To ensure a positive atmosphere for everyone, we have a simple rule of thumb regarding the quality of player: you can be fast or skilled, but preferably not both. We occasionally have players who violate this rule, but usually succeed in bringing them to our standard over time” – Lars Esbjerg.